Being like gravity

Gravity is massively underrated.

We take it for granted, as we well should. It doesn’t give us any reason not to. We don’t encounter situations where it varies from our expectation.

Gravity’s consistency makes life easier because we build it into our model of life. We don’t have to worry “Will gravity be working today when I to head into town?”

It’s defined by its consistency. It’s always on.

When we do our work, when we live our lives, we can choose, to be more like gravity.

This doesn’t mean that we become unchanging robots – but that we understand the power of consistency. It’s knowing that the “always on” aspects of ourselves define us.

It’s our consistent action, traits and behaviours which make us who we are.

No one remembers occasional brilliance when it’s wrapped in the behaviour of a consistent arsehole.

Understanding that we’re defined by our most consistent qualities can be a powerful focussing force. Like gravity, it can help to keep our feet on the ground.

Consistency: friend or foe?

Tile Pattern by Lauren Manning

I haven’t yet figured out if consistency is my friend or foe.

There are so many areas where consistency is a huge benefit:

  • In your work – it makes you reliable
  • In your personality – it makes you easier for people to interact with
  • In your team – it allows to a safe and relaxed group dynamic to emerge

But there is something that niggles in the back of my mind which suggests that consistency somehow aligns with a requirement for safety. Which says that consistency’s insistence on a spec or standard doesn’t leave much room for the incredible.

It might be that permission to be inconsistent is required to stretch enough, and risk enough failure to achieve something amazing.

There seem to be compelling arguments both way, maybe I just haven’t done the work to have an opinion on where the greatest weight is.

What are your thoughts? Do the pros of consistency outweigh the cons for you?

The (sometimes abusive) power of consistency

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Consistency is important to us puny humans, it’s fundamental to how we construct our view of the world. We don’t see the actual world, we construct a model of it in our head.

David McRaney has a great explanation of it.

“You are trapped in a skull, unable to actually interact with the world outside. You depend on messages from sense organs written in code. When you decode the messages, you alter the map and the models, but that’s all you can ever hope to know about the outside world – that map and those models.”

Things which behave, perform and present themselves to us consistently, are easier for us to model.

Things which behave, perform and present themselves to us consistently, are easier for us to model. Similarly, we become uncomfortable when we experience something which is not consistent with our model of it

People are the same. We’re comfortable who act consistently with our model of them – both from a behaviour and a performance perspective.

How we deal with inconsistency

Someone who is always pleasant to us, we model as pleasant.
Someone who is always an arsehole to us, we model as an arsehole.
Someone who is sometimes pleasant and sometimes an arsehole, we tend to defensively model as an arsehole.

As soon as you’re inconsistent, people are tempted to model you against the worst end of your spectrum. It’s easier for them the deal with. If someone is an arsehole a significant percentage of the time, then its simpler (and less painful) to expect that from them in the future.

Likewise with performance. It doesn’t matter if someone’s work is brilliant some of the time. If you rely on the quality of their work output, then their lack of consistency will negatively impact your model of them.

This isn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination.

The world and the people in it are complex and nuanced, and nobody is pleasant or high performing all of the time.

But our brains don’t care, they want to do what’s easiest, what conserves glucose. Unless we make a deliberate effort, we rest on our models.

What are the real world takeaways?

There are two sides to this:
1) The more consistent you are, the easier things will be with other people. The narrower your spectrum of behaviour or performance, the more likely they are to model you close to your best.

Of course, it’s ok to not be consistent. You might not want to make it easy for others, or not care what they think. But that should be a deliberate choice – not a habit or reflex.

2) The more aware you are of you’re own models, the more you can spot when they’re inconsistent with the actual situation in the here and now. We can sleepwalk through the day quite easily letting our models act as a crutch. But we can also take the time to deliberately notice what’s true now, and use that to update our models – to make them more accurate.

Consistency isn’t everything, but for better or worse it radically influences the default settings we all come with. Best to understand both sides of it and make deliberate choices about how we let it impact our lives.