Anger gets a bad rap these days.
We’re told that we can’t be angry, that it doesn’t have a place in a peaceful, productive life.
But anger is as much a part of the human experience as breathing, sleeping or salted popcorn and denying it misses the whole point of its utility. It’s only when we use anger for the wrong purpose that it becomes problematic.
It’s like a sharp kitchen knife – great for cutting vegetables, but unhelpful for other household chores, like bathing children.
Anger is an amazing warning system. It tells us when something we care about is under threat. When used in this way, it allows us to take faster action to protect what’s important to us.
And since it’s not just physical items or people which make us angry – we can also use anger as a tool to understand what we’re sensitive about. We see this when we become angry at something surprising – and we become aware how attached we’ve become to something, only when we experience the prospect of losing it.
Making full use of anger involves recognising and acknowledging it, but then letting it go before taking any action. And letting it go is the key step.
We quickly get into hot water when we act without first letting go of our anger, as it becomes the fuel for our action.
When anger compel us, it limits our options. Possibilities which are open when we’re calm are off the table when anger is the fuel we’re burning.
Anger makes us more likely to deal with a situation, but strips us of the tools we need to make it a success.
The trick, is to spot as soon as it arrives, and then let it go before we do or say anything we’ll regret later. When we let anger fuel our actions, we’re essentially stomping around the house, waving a sharp knife and wondering why things aren’t going so well.