Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-12-26

  • Stutterers have been banned from writing xmas carols after the unfortunate incident involving Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la #
  • Santa hires elves b/c orcs stink, there aren't enough dwarves & pixies haven't done anything decent since 1991. #customcracker #
  • Child Services have been called after Belle and Sebastian were found with an office full of babies. #
  • What do you call a half dozen, east end men in a brothel? 6 geezers laying. #12JokesOfChristmas #
  • After Santa's earlier reindeer Schwama, Shish & Kofta mysteriously disappeared, Donner started to panic. #
  • Meant to be dressed in MadMen style. Current facial hair configuration makes me look like a paedo from Deadwood. http://yfrog.com/h3bstlj #
  • Downloading Undead Nightmare, watching The Conversation w/ Gene Hackman & writing a tech spec. Take that stereotypes about men multitasking! #
  • The queen of the double dip http://yfrog.com/gyxfuej #
  • Yes. Yes it can. RT @FloValentine: @KentValentine Hey douchebag, I got a nappy that needs an overhaul, right now. #
  • My wife is sick and I just burnt a whole bunch of fish fingers. Can this day get any worse? #

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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-12-19

  • Going for a run in the snow. If I don't return, I love you all. #
  • I just don't want to share the road with anything which must be legally marked "FISSILE". http://yfrog.com/h48g1yj #
  • Stuck in traffic next to a convoy of trucks carrying barrels marked as being radioactive. Fuck you snow. #
  • Shop window launch checklist: Lingerie? Check. Flying cocks? Check. Ok, let's roll! http://yfrog.com/h0fpotj #
  • Hey Thursday, you try to pull any of that shit from last week and there'll be hell to pay. #
  • [new video] In space, no one can hear you extend the olive branch http://j.mp/hNT6i1 #
  • I'm up North this Fri, want a lift? I'll take you as far as Anchorhead. You can get a transport there to MosEisley or wherever you're going. #
  • If you need to host any exciting/sexual dreams, my brain is available to rent until 7.30am or my daughter wakes up, whatever comes first. #
  • Watching #TheShield is like eating wonderful food that's slightly past its used-by date. #
  • Batman: Arkham City trailer http://go.ign.com/eR3W8B #
  • Brand power is irrelevant if the product is rubbish. Just look at Tesco Finest Sausages or Louis Vuitton AIDS. #
  • Queue at the post office suggests there's a holiday afoot. Probably the post-Chanukka rush. #

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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-12-12

  • NECROMONICOX – "dildos shaped like Cthulhu and other elder horrors from the other dimension". (via @BoingBoing) http://bit.ly/hJPLB6 #
  • Can't believe geeks didn't realise an ion cannon can clear Imperials for a second but it won't stop them storming your base. #wikileaks #ESB #
  • If you're coming to the comedy gig @ the Showcase Cinemas in Coventry tonight, please don't take cocaine before the show this time. Thanks. #
  • Just got hassled out at Luton immigration. I think it was an #Ashes thing. #
  • Yesterday it was 17 degrees in Zagreb; today, this: http://yfrog.com/gznfqfj #
  • Taking an early flight, on a budget, Hungarian to do gigs in Croatia at as-yet-undisclosed location. Feel like I'm on a 90s mystery flight. #
  • Assange's OpEd piece written for the Australian http://bit.ly/hHTEh Cop that Gillard! #
  • Assange arrested after 2 Swedish women report that his cable leaked. #
  • Ricky Ponting can't concentrate on the cricket because Sweden are trying to extradite him on sexual molestation charges. #CrickiLeaks #
  • Yeah. Sure. RT @zdnetaustralia Assange investigations are not political, Rudd says. http://bit.ly/ikjhfx #
  • BREAKING NEWS: Chewbacca doesn't have a license to fly the Millennium Falcon #WookieLeaks #
  • .@danilic Are we mean to believe Assange pissed off the world's most powerful gov'ments & decided to celebrate with a Swedish raping spree? #
  • .@beggyg @hennakhan5 Inconsistent bowling, poor batting, terrible fielding and a captain that looks like a monkey. #

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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-12-05

  • How can we be this far behind and not even have Mitchell Johnson's lack of LINE and LENGTH to blame? #
  • Is #Wikileaks down in general, down in just the UK or is #O2 being controversial? #
  • George Lucas' money grabbing madness reaches its logical zenith http://yfrog.com/fyd6z0j #
  • Det. Claudette Wimms is a great character. That is all. #
  • Glitter & Doom tonight feat Simon Munnery, Naz Osmanoglu, Julia & Kent on jokes, Sam on guitar & Charlie on bass. http://bit.ly/huirb5 #
  • I just aspirated a piece of tuna. Looks like the fish will be sleeping with me. #
  • With all this snow you're probably thinking "can I see some excellent comedy with a live musical score tomorrow night?" http://bit.ly/heCwDM #

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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-11-28

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