An Email to Felix Geyr (O2 Customer Service)

Here is a daily, cookie cutter email that I receive from O2 everyday that they don’t manage to connect my broadband:

On 25 Jul 2011, at 16:01, O2 Customer Services wrote:
Hello Kent,

We’re still working on your home phone fault. We’re sorry for any inconvenience this has caused you. We’ll let you know as soon as it’s fixed. If you have any more questions, call us on 0800 230 0202. Monday to Sunday, 24/7. Your reference number is XXXXXXX.

Best regards,

Felix Geyr
Head of O2 Home and Broadband

This email is sent from Telefónica UK Limited.
Registered Office:
260 Bath Road, Slough, Berkshire, SL1 4DX
Registered number: 1743099

Here is my reply:
Hi Felix,

Thanks for your email, it’s the kind of email that I’d prefer to read at home, but I can’t, because you guys still haven’t connected my Internet.

Instead, I’m forced to drive to the local high street everyday in order to download my inbox.

“Are you living out in the country?” I hear you ask. No Felix, I’m living on the top of a hill in London, one of the most populous and connected cities on the planet, but even so, there is no O2 3G reception in my house.

“Have you called us about that?” I hear you ask. Yes, I have.

“And what did we do?” I hear you ask.


“So let me get this straight: You’re paying us money to provide you with a telephone and Internet service that we haven’t been able to set up for you yet and you’re getting a little frustrated with my texts and emails?” I hear you ask.

Yes Felix, I am. I’ve been with O2 for 3 years for both mobile and broadband, but I’m pretty much at the point of leaving.

I took a day off work today so that a BT Openreach engineer could come and correct the problem but he never showed up, never called, never texted. Perhaps (s)he couldn’t get any reception here either.

You mention in your texts to me that I can be charged if I miss an appointment with you/Openreach. Does this mean that I can charge you for missing the appointment today? If not, why not? That hardly seems like the type of one-sided relationship that I’d like us to build going forward.

We used to have it so good. You supplied me with a mobile telephone and Internet service and I paid you money, on time and in full.

What happened?

The two main customer service operatives I’ve been dealing with (Ian in Leeds & Jon Locke(?) in Scotland) have been excellent, but are understandably unable to relieve my considerable anger and frustration.

I hope it is within your power to offer a more satisfactory resolution.

Yours Sincerely,
Kent Valentine

M: +44 7917 XXX XXX (no reception at home, which is where I will be, as I took the day off)

Squirrel #8 – Top games, chilli biscuits, arse PEZ & the corporate dick

At least 8 weeks after everyone else has done their “best of 2010” shows, Jim & Kent turn up to the party fashionably late with a list, a microphone and an hour.

If you like us, half as much as we love you, then you’ll probably have a lovely time listening to the show.

Rock on!

Download Episode 8