- Just locked self, fiancée & baby out of flat & car. Bad news: spare keys 3 hrs away. Good news: we were going to a picnic & have sandwiches. #
- Passed a church with 2 preachers, but only 1 in audience. Doesn't God know if performers > crowd, you have to pull the gig? #
- The difference between a Tesco Express & a regular Tesco is cauliflower. Cauliflower is not an express vegetable. #
- Lando Calrissian – Blackstar Warrior. The hippest cat in the galaxy. Sho' nuff. http://youtu.be/NATeU-r0GDU #
- Stand-Up Comedy + Live Musical Soundtrack = GLITTER & DOOM. Kick-off, Sept 1 @ 8pm, London. Join our Facebook group! http://bit.ly/cX2CLH #
- Anyone know how long we have to wait for some resolution with #Sherlock #
- Dar(k)/(th) Raven http://bit.ly/aLNyS1 (via @Threadless) #
- Door-knocking Jehovah's Witnesses just woke a sleeping @FloValentine. Fuck you God! #
- Awesome! Woman quits job with dry erase board. http://bit.ly/aLvbOo (via @LaughingSquid) #
- You may /think/ #RedDeadRedemption is better than #MassEffect2 but you'd be wrong. #FuckingCougarsArePissingMeOff #
- A good comedy gig LOOKS like a hostage situation but a bad comedy gig FEELS like a hostage situation. #
- Once you see a photo of a pig's penis, you'll never eat fusilli again. #
- The jaw bone's connected to the mouth hole, the mouth hole's connected to the anus… damn, I knew I shouldn't watch Human Centipede. #
- Modern games de-made for old consoles. http://www.motherboard.tv/2010/8/2/videogame-de-makes-give-modern-games-a-downgrade–2 #
- It's raining in Leicester. It looks like God is trying to rinse off the blight of teen pregnancy. #
- Father & Daughter or Why I don't eat GM foods anymore. http://yfrog.com/cbnynxj #
- Passport Photos: What a fucking rip-off. Cheaper to get a 16th Century artisan to etch my portrait in gold leaf. #
- Never mosh with rollergirls #LifeLessonsItsTakenMe32YearsToLearn #
- #Warehouse13 ep 1&2 were kooky & fun like camp, early X-Files. Anyone know if it goes the distance? #
