Dubious Friends

I know this is more vitriol than comedy, but I didn’t have time to be angry AND funny today.

Ok, so Israel sends a Mossad hit squad to Dubai to murder a Hamas leader and the UK gets angry – so far so good. UK then calls Israeli ambassador to the foreign office for diplomatic bollocking – also looking good.

Unfortunately this is where disillusionment kicks in, as it becomes apparent that all the UK is concerned about is the fact that some members of the Israeli assassination team were travelling on fake UK passports. What the fuck? Who gives a shit about passports when your friend just sent a massive team of assassins to murder someone.

I don’t know about you, but if one of my friends killed a dude, I wouldn’t give a flying fuck about their travel documents, at least not until I’d gotten my head around the fact that I’ve been friends with someone who’s obviously a massive dick. Even so, there would be some pretty heavy consequences as a result of that crazy little thing called murder.

For a start, I don’t think that we’d be friends any more. We all have friends who are dicks, but surely there’s got to be a line, and I think murder is a good place to draw it. I know that Hamas can be real arseholes, but who deserves a 17 on 1, gang-bang style assassination in their Dubai hotel. You know you’ve crossed a line when there are Australian Rugby League players who think that you’ve got too many people in the hotel room.

Secondly, I’d voice some heavy disapproval. I think that assassinations on foreign soil deserve a slightly sterner rebuke than “please don’t murder anyone while you’re carrying our passports”. Maybe the focus of the rebuke could even be less on forgery and more on the cold, calculated, state-sanctioned killing if humans.

I think it’s correct and proper that the world is a upset with Israel, but get angry at the right thing. If you’re out to dinner with mates and one of them climbs on his chair, shits on the table, then pulls up his pants and sits down as if nothing happens, it’s ok to get angry… but not because he didn’t wash his hands.

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