Year: 2010

• Stutterers have been banned from writing xmas carols after the unfortunate incident involving Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la #
• Santa hires elves b/c orcs stink, there aren't enough dwarves & pixies haven't done anything decent since 1991. #customcracker #
• Child Services have been called after Belle and Sebastian were found with an office full of babies. #
• What do you call a half dozen, east end men in a brothel? 6 geezers laying. #12JokesOfChristmas #
• After Santa's earlier reindeer Schwama, Shish & Kofta mysteriously disappeared, Donner started to panic. #
• Meant to be dressed in MadMen style. Current facial hair configuration makes me look like a paedo from Deadwood. http://yfrog.com/h3bstlj #
• Downloading Undead Nightmare, watching The Conversation w/ Gene Hackman & writing a tech spec. Take that stereotypes about men multitasking! #
• The queen of the double dip http://yfrog.com/gyxfuej #
• Yes. Yes it can. RT @FloValentine: @KentValentine Hey douchebag, I got a nappy that needs an overhaul, right now. #
• My wife is sick and I just burnt a whole bunch of fish fingers. Can this day get any worse? #

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• Going for a run in the snow. If I don't return, I love you all. #
• I just don't want to share the road with anything which must be legally marked "FISSILE". http://yfrog.com/h48g1yj #
• Stuck in traffic next to a convoy of trucks carrying barrels marked as being radioactive. Fuck you snow. #
• Shop window launch checklist: Lingerie? Check. Flying cocks? Check. Ok, let's roll! http://yfrog.com/h0fpotj #
• Hey Thursday, you try to pull any of that shit from last week and there'll be hell to pay. #
• [new video] In space, no one can hear you extend the olive branch http://j.mp/hNT6i1 #
• I'm up North this Fri, want a lift? I'll take you as far as Anchorhead. You can get a transport there to MosEisley or wherever you're going. #
• If you need to host any exciting/sexual dreams, my brain is available to rent until 7.30am or my daughter wakes up, whatever comes first. #
• Watching #TheShield is like eating wonderful food that's slightly past its used-by date. #
• Batman: Arkham City trailer http://go.ign.com/eR3W8B #
• Brand power is irrelevant if the product is rubbish. Just look at Tesco Finest Sausages or Louis Vuitton AIDS. #
• Queue at the post office suggests there's a holiday afoot. Probably the post-Chanukka rush. #

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